Parents and their children go through many different stages when beginning at daycare. They must adapt from being in a safe, comfortable place such as home, to being in an unknown, brand-new environment. They also must adapt to new people taking care of them aside from their parents and learn to interact with other children in a group setting. All of these major changes require time for adaptation.
The transition/adaptation period generally lasts from 2-4 weeks although some transitions can take longer.
At first, the child is fascinated by this exciting new environment, full of toys and other toddlers. They may even be excited when arriving in the morning and not react too much when their parents leave. Reality shock develops after about a week, as the novelty fades. The child becomes aware that they will be coming back to daycare every day. Sometimes they react strongly by crying or refusing. During the day, they are less interested in other children, games, and activities.
After the reality shock, the child wonders if their parents will come back. They may cry when watching their parents leave. They may feel insecure and sad. Some children will refuse to sleep or eat, and some older children may even regress (e.g., asking for a pacifier again). This stage can last one to three weeks.
Eventually, the child develops an attachment bond with the educator. They finally trust the educator. They can now actively participate in games and interact with other children. The adaptation has come full circle.
During your child’s adjustment period, routine is important. Avoid weaning from the bottle, pacifier, or breastfeeding during this time. Breastfeeding could be continued in the morning and evening, for example. It is also not the right time to start potty training or to change the baby bed for a child’s bed.
Preparing your child for their first day/week is very important!
- Talk to your child about their daycare facility. Even if they are very young, explain that they can have fun with the other children while mom and dad are at work. Explain that an educator will be there to take care of them. It is also a good idea to read books about daycare to get them familiar with the place.
- Visit the daycare facility with your toddler before they start going there. They can then get used to the place with you. It is also an opportunity for your child to get to know the people who will be taking care of them. Once back home, tell them how the days will go at daycare.
- Take the time to drive by the daycare with your child whenever you can. Invite them to wave hello to their daycare facility, friends, and educators.
- Explain the new routine that will be established for the days your child is at daycare. For example We get dressed, eat lunch, brush our teeth, and then leave. Describe the journey to the daycare. Remind them of their educator’s name and some of the children’s names in their group, if you know them. Knowing a little bit about what is coming next helps your child gain more confidence.
- Talk to the educator about your child. Give them any information about their habits, games they are interested in, what they like to eat, sleeping patterns, etc. This will help the educator take better care of them. Of course, if your toddler has special needs, you must inform the daycare facility ahead of time so that accommodation can be implemented.
During the first few days of drop-off:
Use a staggered entry approach, have your child attend the center for half days for the first week, and then gradually increase the amount of time spent at the center, for Example First day-9:00-11:00, the second day from 9:00-12:00…..etc..
- Repeat the same goodbye routine with your child (e.g., two kisses, a big hug, and off you go). Such routines become reference points that facilitate adaptation because they are predictable for your toddler. Never leave without saying goodbye. Many children find separation easier when they feel in control of the situation. For example, the educator may offer your child to watch you leave from one of the windows of the daycare to wave goodbye.
- Bring a transitional object (e.g., security blanket, stuffed animal) that will reassure your toddler. Its familiar smell can help your child better manage separation from their parents. The transitional object or security blanket allows them to think of you and feel safe while waiting for your return. It’s also a good idea to bring a family photo or a small album containing family pictures that your toddler can look at when they miss you.
- Hand the child over to the educator and be strong: It’s okay for you to be feeling sad or anxious when leaving your child, This is normal. But try not to allow your child to see or feel your anxiety as it can be transferred onto them without even realizing it!. Let them know, “Mommy/daddy will be back and hand them over to the educator quickly. Say your goodbyes and depart so that they cannot see you. The educators will escort the children into the room, comfort them if they are upset, and engage them in different activities to help take their mind off of the separation.
- They don’t cry all day: This is EVERY parent’s fear! As an educator of 21 years, I can confidently tell you that no child comes to the daycare and cries the entire day. Children generally have periods where they will remember you are not with them and become upset, but once re-engaged they forget and start to enjoy the activities! This goes behavior goes on and off throughout the day, but educators are there to comfort and reassure the child and this generally calms them!
- Above all else, BE CONSISTENT: Research shows that children thrive on routine! When joining and transitioning into childcare, consistency is key. Developing a morning routine prior to daycare and a consistent drop-off routine will allow the children to know what comes next. Sending them to childcare for their transition is very important for their integration. It can be difficult as a parent at times, but every child eventually adapts to their new care routine.
Overall, you must remember that your child is in good hands and once the transitional period is complete, you will see their joy when they arrive at daycare!
