You may have heard before that the best builder of trust with your children is to follow through. But if you are a parent or caregiver, then most likely you are juggling more than just a couple things at once during the day. Which means the play time you promised may not happen, even though you fully intended to follow through on it. The more we are unable to follow through with our words, the more children can become demanding and clingy because they cannot foresee when they will get the attention they crave. But as parents, even though we know most of the time it’s circumstantial, the fallout can still be so overwhelming.
A little tangible trick to build trust can be to find every day moments to build the foundations of trust. This way you aren’t overwhelmed with juggling promises and large daily workloads; possibly leading to failed follow through. Create moments where you can take advantage of a follow through opportunity. For example, during breakfast your toddler asks for milk. Let them know you’ll get the milk right after you finish making your toast. If you’re building Legos with your child, pick a moment to go to the bathroom and tell them you will be right back to finish building their house.
It can be a lot more manageable to cultivate moments to build trust when you are in control of the situation. While it may seem like such small moments in your day, stating an action and following through on it with your child can mean more than you think. For them, it means what you say is what you will do. When you are a small child, those words are one of the few senses of security they can rely on.
Your partner-in-learning,
Fiona Abbas-Lee
